Thursday, January 6, 2011


these past few weeks have been interesting to say the least. its not the way i wanted to end my life here in california. i understand the confusion, the worry, and the hurt from all of my friends, and those that used to call themselves my friends. i'm sorry that i cannot change the way i am. while some of you may not even care i can tell you that what has been will be no more. while i can't change who i am who i am with will be. i know some of you will find solace in that fact, others will remain to worry and others will refuse to care. i'm sorry for what i have done but not for who i am.

i thank those of you who have stuck by me, even when it hurt you. you know who you are. it means everything in the world to me that you stuck through it all. to those of you who turned their backs on me i wish you could see me for who i really am.

tomorrow i leave to start my new life but will never forget the friends i've made here. the girl that would sit on my floor and listen to old records with me, the girl that fed me skittles when i was ill, the ghost on the wall, little boy blue with his insurmountable caring, the boy i kissed and smiled at the same time, and the one who opened my eyes to everything i am and can be.

tonight i fall asleep, and tomorrow i wake at home, this home one last time. goodbye california my love. i will never forget you.