I've spent a good chunk of this weekend reading blog posts and tweets from a very good friend named, Antony. Recently he and his girlfriend of nine months broke up. They have been broken up for about two and a half weeks. From what I understand it was his girlfriend (at the time) Amanda's decision to end the relationship because Antony was getting too angry and letting his bipolar disorder get the best of him.
As far as I know Antony wasn't happy in the relationship either, citing that Amanda would rather go party with her friends than to be with him. Neither side was putting any effort into fixing things, and when their break was finally over Amanda decided to end the relationship.
I guess, from what I was told, it was a mutual break-up, and that the two sides hugged it out and tried to fix things on their own ends in order to come back together eventually.
This is where things get a little complicated as far as I know. Antony told me that he tried to hang out with Amanda but that she was always declining, citing that she was busy or tired. Antony eventually stopped trying because he was afraid he was annoying her.
Antony then started to help out and HANG OUT A LOT with another girl. Antony says nothing is going on and that he's only there to mentor her because she is a manager (which he and Amanda also are) at where they work. So Antony and this girl have been hanging out a lot, and according to him they are just friends.
Now Amanda is jealous and angry and told Antony that she's happy without him, that she doesn't know why she stayed with him for so long, and that she doesn't love him anymore.
Now I have to sit here and watch my friend who left this relationship to deal with his bipolar disorder go through an unnecessary struggle because a girl basically wrote him off based on an assumption.
I'd hate to sit here and preach, but the way I see it both sides are wrong. Antony gave up and walked away from Amanda because she wasn't responding the way he wanted. Maybe Amanda really was tired, and she couldn't hang out. Antony instead went off and spent TOO MUCH TIME WITH ANOTHER GIRL and effectively threw it in Amanda's face. I feel bad for Amanda, because it does look bad.
Now, I also feel bad for Antony, because I know he didn't hang out with this other girl to piss Amanda off, but to actually help her out because that's the kind of guy he is. He is the sweetest person I have ever met. Anyway, now he is in hot water because Amanda is angry, pissed, hurt, and basically feels betrayed by the person she loves the most in this world (even if she won't admit it) because she thinks he went off and found a replacement.
In my opinion BOTH Antony & Amanda are stupid. Antony really should have known that hanging out with this other girl would have been a HUGE issue from the start. Amanda should NOT HAVE been so mean to Antony and said what she said. I know Amanda is hurting, but it's not fair to say what she said.
Now I sit here, watching Antony unravel and hearing about how Amanda is pretending like nothing is going on. I feel bad for both of them, because they were perfect together.
I have never seen Antony happier than when he was with Amanda. He sounded so alive, so happy, so not like he usually is. Now, now I see the depressed side of him again. I see the hurt in him. I want so badly to be over there to give him a hug, but I can't do a thing about it.
I want to shake Amanda and make her realize what she's doing. Because I know deep down she is still in love with Antony. She's just too hurt and too proud to admit it.
Why am I writing this? Maybe in hopes that these two will read this and will realize that they are being insanely stupid. Are you both ready to throw away everything you had because of some stupid decisions that BOTH OF YOU HAVE MADE?
Now I'm crying about this. And I really shouldn't be. I just want the two of you to realize how much you each mean to eachother. Maybe in time things will get easier, but right now it is breaking my heart to watch you both hurt. Please don't let your love die.